29 Jan 2010 Escape to Guantanamo Bay

Ever heard of the Movie "Harold and Kumar's escape from Guantanamo Bay? Well I never thought I would be fighting to get TO Guantanamo Bay. CRC is at best a horrible experience for all involved. Man that place is an equal opportunity employer for the non deployed, broke, and incompetent of the US Army. If idiocracy had a minority Ft Benning has utilized affirmative action to the utmost extent. I have to digress from my usual witty fishy banter for a moment to recognize the triumphant failures of common sense in this place. Of course I can't divulge any great military secrets, or share any classified info (my job's not that important anyway)but I can definitely take pause to reflect on my experience at the Conus Replacement Center. I don't even know where to start. Must be the effects from the PTSD I incurred while assigned to that place. Truth be told I've been in Iraq with mortars falling like rain but this experience has taken a toll on my nerves. I guess I'll start with the Cadre. It seems as if the job requirement is that you must have a combination of, or one significant area of expertise in the following areas: Overweightness, rudeness, ignorance, incompetency, lack of ever deploying, or all of the above. I don't fault the cadre because it seems as if the job may have been forced upon them as a cruel joke. Who else would assign individuals to a location where they would have to deal with retired and active senior officers, NCOs, DOD Civilians/Contractors on the way to deployments, (if you didn't know Senior Officers and Enlisted are quite critical of everything by design)when they obviously are seriously ill equipped for the job.
It's as if the assignment gods decided that since these people can't, won't or just have never deployed we are going to make them deploy by association. As a customer service subject matter expert myself I can attest to the facts that the odds are overwhelming against them to think that they will be able to handle that kind of mission. I even made new friends here. Anybody knows that suffering through hard times together brings people closer. I made four new BEST friends. We call ourselves the disgruntleds. I know if a few more hours would have passed there could have been a postal situation (we would have wrote home about our problems LOL. It may even be a training technique designed to reduce your nervousness about your upcoming deployment. I have never in my life met so many people that can't wait to go put themselves in harms way. I asked one of my fellow disgruntleds and he said "I'll go anywhere and do anything as long as I can escape this hell hole" (btw he's going to Afghanistan to fight the War on Terror. Most likely he'll be enduring extreme freezing conditions, firefights, IEDs, and a whole gammut of other unpleasant things.) I won't really get into the details of what happened but lets just say I'm always right. I'm not the type of person to say "I told you so" (I just let you know before we disagree). I could go on but I'm just glad I escaped...

24 Jan 2010 Survivng CRC

First I have to give a shout out to my peeps. I was just playing about only missin my boat. I miss my number 1 fishing partner (miss Olivia) and my future getthenet tech (Fatboy), and last but not least the Commanding General of all nonfishing activities (Misses). CRC is hurryupandwait at it's finest. I won't complain much though because I have definitely seen worse. The rooms aren't that bad. It's just 4 to a room and the mild scent of feet and Fritos wafts gently through the air. You hardly even notice. My only complaint was one of my roommates (whom I have yet to identify)turned the heat up to the hell setting. I had to break down and tell em "sh*t it's hot as f**k in here!" I guess everyone agreed because no one complained as I turned it down. I think it has been on the same setting the whole time and no one wanted to change it so we all just roasted in silence until my courageous intervention. I felt a great sense of accomplishment after vanquishing the heat monster. The next day was death by powerpoint until lunch time, after lunch they played an amateur video with shots of various people going through different stations set to an epic movie ballad. The music was so suspenseful and I awaited in awe for a great action sequence or explosion to take place but the screen only showed soldiers and contractors gripping and grinnin and going about there day in a exceedingly normal fashion. I never understand why people believe a video will be great if you replace the sound with music contradictory to the actions on the screen. Of course I had to make a little time for my addiction. I have tucked a few fishing magazines under my pillow for some late night fun. I can't wait...

20 Jan 2010 I miss her already

Well most folks would think I had a death in the family. I knew this time would come. I just was not ready to separate. Today has been the hardest yet. Sometimes I wonder is it worth it. This job is separating me from the love of my life. It's been hard watching her go off with another man. I sure hopes he takes care of her the way I did. She is awesome. I can hear her voice, that deep growl at the crack of dawn. We wake up the neighbors regularly with all the ruckus in the wee hours of the morn. I'll miss tucking her in and buckling down her covers on cold nights. The way she glowed in the morning sun. I would catch guys staring at her with envy in their eyes as we passed by thinking "where did he find her?" A lot of old guys would just wink with the tip of a hat and I'd know they wish they were young enough to be in my position. I'll be ok, I keep telling myself it's just a few months. Being absent will make the heart grow fonder. I sure hope that's true. All I have is these pictures to remind me of her beauty while I'm gone. Man I'll miss that boat...

10 Jan 2010 Planning

I told my folks I'd be leaving soon. I guess if you have to deploy this is the place to go. Seems like GTMO is a lovely place (outside the prison). I'll have to judge that for myself when I get there. I'm debating if I should bring my own fishin rod or get a new one at the local shop there. If the local PX/Sports store is anything like the ones here in the states there will be a limited selection of rods. I also don't know how quick the mail gets delivered over there so I better take care of this before I roll out. From what I've read everything comes in on a barge. So that is priority number one. I'll handle the small stuff like Power of Attorneys for the Misses and updating my last will and testament later. Old Fidel might get it in his head to knock me off. Gotta make sure that will is updated. I can't wait, I got visions of tarpon, snook, and barracuda swimming in my head. Maybe I'll even catch ole Jaws himself. GTMO here I come!